Bad news day.

Prior to beginning this entry, I should alert you to the fact that the subsequent content may offend some viewers. (Clearly this sentence should be read aloud in a voice that sounds like you have just had your vocal cords attacked by a whipper snipper.)

One thing is certain. The Chileans know how to create a good news story. What is the big news story in Australia at the moment - the Cole inquiry. Yes that´s right, a bunch of dull men in even duller suits talking dully about the dullest thing imaginable - wheat. Sure, it is an important staple, but when was the last time wheat slept with its´children´s nanny or gained a lot of weight in a really short time, allowing the rest of us to feel much better about our wreck of a body?

For a point of comparision, let me tell you about the big news story that I have being following here. It is about two men, one called Han Puzlo and the other whose name I can´t remember. For the purposes of this story we will can him, say, Gerald.

Now about two weeks ago someone was cleaning out a drain, as you do, and happened to run across a human stomach without its body. A few days later someone else found a spare arm in their back shed. The next day it was the torso´s turn to appear in the freezer of some factory complex. And so on. All told there was about 8 pieces found. These pieces all belonged to the poor Mr Puzlo. He was obviously having a very bad day.

Hans was a prostitute and drug addict who was known to his neighbours to be down on his luck at this particular time.

The police did their thing and after a few days knocked on Gerald´s door. Gerald was a very reputable ice cream vendor with a young upstanding family. They asked him a few questions and then went on their way to continue their investigations. Gerald obviously thinking the game was up took the afternoon as an opportunity to top himself.

The suicide note revealed the following salient details. Hans and Gerald had being having a bit of a fling for about 3 years, unbeknownest to anyone else. Gerald provided Hans with a living allowance in return for sex. This was not a thing that Gerald was wanting his family to know and Hans was using this fact as leverage to blackmail him into doing all sorts of things, but mostly selling a hell of a lot of ice creams to keep him in the style to which he had become accustomed.

Gerald could deal with the pressure no longer and obviously thought that the most appropriate course of action was to bash Hans over the head with some blunt object, dismember his corpse, keep the various pieces in his ice cream shop freezer for a few days and then spread them about the city - still frozen - like some kind of morbid Easter Egg hunt.

Makes sense to me.

Now that my friends, is a news story.

You know you gotta...

Rock and Roll.

Paddy.