Stranger Danger.

Ahh... Cajamarca.

I am back in Peru... and like any steadfast and reliable friend, Peru has provided for me where others have dismally failed. (*cough* Ecuador *cough* *cough*) I write to you now with a twinkle in my eye and a spring in my step that was not to be seen before. (Well, that would be so if I were actually stepping, since I am sitting down, maybe it should be a bounce in my... posture)

Yes, I have found my thermal bath. And not just any old thermal bath. No I am a bit more special than that. A bit more regal, shall we say. So it was off down to the Baños del Inca where good old Atahualpa, the last Incan Emperor used to come to have his back scrubbed, his hair washed and perhaps the odd game of Marco Polo with his concubines.

I tell you, I have not found water this hot in all of my travels to date. Now this is probably not that difficult an achievement considering the general water temperature in South America tends to range from tepid to ´Excuse me sir, may I borrow your spatula, my head seems to have been frozen to my shoulder´. But despite this I assure that these baths were hot. Steamy. Scalding. Chock full of celciusly derived goodness. HOT.

Then of course, following my theraputic bath there was nothing else to be done except sign in for an all over body massage. Mmmm, body massage.

I was one very relaxed ex-paralegal, I tell you. And I can only assume that Mr Atahualpa was accustomed to feeling the same. Perhaps this was the problem.

You see, Cajamarca is also the site where Incan Empire really began to go to pieces. Perhaps the arrival of the Spanish, all 180 of them, was to Atahualpa just another potential group of massuers. Swedish, Spanish - you can see where the confusion could arise. Because despite having an army of 80,000 at his immediate disposal, he deemed the most appropriate course of action was to leave this army resting while he enter into an relatively enclosed area with a small retinue. The motivation for this action was the desire to learn more about Christianity. Too trusting by half. The Spanish then preceded to beat the living daylights out of his retinue and lock the Incan Emperor up in a small building in the centre of the city.

But Mr Atahualpa was not the sharpest tool in the box- he did not learn from this experience anything about the nature of his new illegal arrivals. So when the Spanish said ´Sorry, this has all been a bit of a mistake, tell you what, you fill a sizable room up with gold, and we will let you go´ rather than responding ´Yeah right, like I believe that you pale faced goons, watch now as my empire of 10-15 million people grinds your puny force into an oily pulp!!´, Mr Atahualpa said ´Sure!! You seem like honourable enough guys, what could go wrong´ The message was sent out to his people, the room was filled with gold, Atahualpa was promptly executed and the Incan empire composed as it was of a lot of different peoples who didn´t much like each other, began a fairly rapid disintegration.

Bit of a shame really.

Rock and Roll.

Paddy.